CITRINITAS
(2022)
This piece was originally sculpted from clay as a figure of a woman's torso (5x7 cm) wrapped around and punctured with wires, created in one of the sessions in the context of non-directive group art therapy in an educational setting.
During that period, I was increasingly getting consumed by an overpowering desire for something that my current life circumstances would not yet allow to happen, resulting in great feelings of helplessness. I felt trapped in my circumstance and I struggled to function in my day-to-day activities.
By creating this sculpture, I externalised my difficult feelings onto a tangible object, through which psychological insight was generated. I was able to understand that the desires I struggled with at the time were a rather literal manifestation of blocked creative energies, and that those desires would continue to control me until I consciously exercised my will to express them. I understood how the process of creating this sculpture allowed the emotional energy to flow out into the outside world, and that the art object empowered me to beautify my unpleasant experience using my own hands, through which I may gain reflection of how to address the issue from the inside.
After the session, I enhanced the sculpture with flowers made of wire to transform the meaning of the piece, and inherently transform the emotions that I initially associated with it, too.
⚫️ Nigredo
In order to visualise the effectiveness of the creative process in aiding one’s personal discovery of methods and techniques in dealing with psychological stress, it is important to understand that thoughts and emotions are the brain’s energetic responses to stimuli and are therefore made of energy. The energetic nature of emotions implies that they can be consciously controlled, and if one is to consciously control the flow of this energy, if such energy causes a deterioration of one’s quality of life, then the flow must be directed outward.
﹍
Several weeks later, I continued to be plagued with intrusive thoughts and difficult emotions. The sculpture have completely dried by then, and the wires have left several cracks all over it.
﹍
The first step towards healing wounds is to know exactly where they are.
﹍
Every crack, every hole I painted bloody red,
then I set the piece on fire.
⚪️ ALBEDO
I am the god of this woman.
My will is her lord,
and my will is that of alchemy.
I released her from bondage,
and relieved her of fleshly pains.
I licked her wounds with black paint.
🌕 CITRINITAS
The Dawning of the Solar Light
Now she stands tall with the grace of a fabulous feather of a wild bird from the mountains. Her scars have been coated with golden glitter— an homage to the Japanese art of Kintsugi— as a testament to the ultimate nature of every tear, every puncture in her worldly body: they are but windows through which the light inside of her can shine outward. ∞